So you want to be happy? Well, there’s only one thing standing in your way. You. Happiness is a choice that only happy people make. Here are the 10 delusions happy people don’t subscribe to.
1. Life is fair.
Happiness isn’t about always getting what you want. Happy people understand that sometimes life doesn’t go their way; life isn’t fair. What they do know, is that you can only do your best, forgive yourself for what doesn’t work, and let go when you need to.
2. Suffering is bad.
Suffering is an inevitable condition of humanity. You cannot survive this world without at least a little suffering. Happy people know a deeper happiness comes through surviving a deep pain. We learn what we’re truly made of when faced with such hurt.
3. I’m in control of things.
As hard as you work, and as much as you try to plan it all out, you’re just not in control. You cannot control the actions or thoughts of others. In order to reach happiness, happy people accept this inevitable truth and learn to be proactive rather than reactive to life’s surprises and mishaps.
4. People are obligated to love me a specific way.
If your happiness is dependent on how other people feel about you, you will never be happy. You can’t please everyone and you certainly can’t force anyone to love you in a specific way. Happy people accept the way their loved ones feel, and work at showing their affection and asking for what they need rather than expecting people to love them the way they want to be loved.
5. Everyone hates me.
This is a toxic belief and a delusion, yet sadly a great proportion of unhappy people fall prey to this, which is largely why they are unhappy. Happy people face the world with a healthy dose of curiosity and nonchalance. They are interested in others, yet not so dependent on being loved in a specific way. Making friends takes time, that’s all.
6. I can’t.
If you believe you are incapable and let that belief keep you from happiness, then ultimately you give truth to a self-imposed fallacy. The only way to improve and succeed at anything is to try and try again. Consider this: who is your idol? Do you think he or she is so accomplished through a life void of failure? No! They simply do not let their doubts keep them from happiness.
7. I have something to prove.
Unhappy people seek happiness through approval. Unfortunately, that approval is impossible to achieve because it is caused by a inner lack, which keeps them constantly striving. Happiness can only be achieved through self-acceptance. Yours is the only approval you need.
8. It doesn’t matter.
“It doesn’t matter” is just an excuse. It’s what unhappy people tell themselves to avoid confrontation when they’ve been mistreated, or to endure a lack of courage when they don’t follow their dreams. Happiness matters. Respect matters. Don’t dismiss your needs to avoid responsibility of your own happiness.
9. I’d be happier, if only I were [fill in the blank].
You know your routine. I’d be happier, if only I were skinnier, prettier, smarter, the CEO. Happy people know the secret to happiness is accepting themselves–flaws and all. It’s okay to work on improving yourself–we’re always in a state of learning–but it’s not okay to berate yourself for your flaws. Focus on your strengths.
10. I’m too old.
You are never too old. Yes, you may look silly. And, yes, it may be harder than you expect, but it’s never too late to choose happiness. Happy people keep choosing happiness every day, whether they felt it early on or discovered the secret later in life, it’s their choice. Life is unpredictable. The only sure thing is we’re all getting older one day at a time, so don’t let that keep you from happiness.